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Heather's avatar

Love this perspective, Chris. I came into deconstruction in my late 30s when my kids were teens, so I honestly was having faith shifts alongside them. I wish I had been able to have this mindset when my kids were small, but I’m also thankful for the conversations I have with them now.

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Joanna Davidson's avatar

I totally relate to this. ❤️

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Jason's avatar

Chris, thank you for being willing to tackle such a tough topic honestly. I worry sometimes that my tendency to categorize things as black and white/right and wrong/true and false may have given my kids the wrong idea that faith was about being certain of everything we believe. As I’ve gotten older and God has softened some of my rough edges, I’m becoming much more comfortable with “I don’t know for sure” as a viable answer.

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Don Lowe's avatar

Thanks Chris - our daughter is now a teenager and the questions get deeper and better all the time. Being able to let go of the desire to have answers for everything has been such a gift. And has made us much happier and nicer Christians too 😊

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Jo's avatar

Thank you so much. This gives me hope that I'm not just a square peg in a round hole. It is such a relief that someone else can accept the grey areas. We are the "Liberals" (said with a judgemental shudder) in our church and it pains me as I'm really not. I just want to teach my children before they turn around and either call me an idiot or grow up with a very beige faith.

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Lennon Fediw's avatar

Thanks for the perspective Chris. You have a keen way of putting thoughts into words. I wish I had these thoughts when my kids were younger. Going through deconstruction in their teen years was rough as I didn’t even have the words to describe what was changing in me. I’m glad our youngest gets a much better view of me and my faith and I hope the older 2 can see it too.

Here’s to being honest in my faith!

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Gyda Meeten's avatar

I feel grateful that our kids have grown up around a much less toxic version of Christianity than I did, and have had their own individual experiences of God in worship as well (some at Rend concerts - thank you). So they have a sense of who God is, and when they encounter something which doesn't "fit" they know that they can ask hard questions and that we may well answer with an "I don't know"! I worry still that we pass on our scars, though. Thanks for these thoughts

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