File #1

“How would you respond to a church that looks down on “deconstructing”? How do think a local church can best support its people who are deconstructing?” - G

Hey, G!

I used to be so incensed by the fact that some churches and Christians would meet people in the darkest, most vulnerable moments of their spiritual journey with condemnation and ridicule. Jesus said that he wouldn’t snuff out the smouldering wick or crush the bruised reed, yet some people have made it their mission statement to do be “crushers and snuffers”!

Deconstruction can mean a lot of things at this point, but it typically looks like asking a lot of questions about the assumptions of our faith. And if there’s anything Jesus loved it was a good question. Honestly it seems like he liked them more than answers: the gospels record him being asked 183 of which he answers 3 directly. He personally asks 307 of them!

I wish the whole church could see the positive side of an inquisitive faith, like Jesus did. I wish that we pastored and guided the deconstruction process, rather than just condemning it and forcing already lonely people into further isolation. It’s the isolation which I think takes a healthy curiosity and turns it into something unbalanced. When we’re alone with our questions we don’t see clearly - we see with a bias towards our doubt. Whereas in community, we can have our doubts tempered by the faith of our friends and family. We can actually make an informed assessment. If we want to get to the bottom of the “truth” we need to consult a range of sources - not exclusively the most skeptical sources.

I said I “used to be incensed” in the opening paragraph because my perspective has shifted to something more gracious over the years. When I put myself in the shoes of the average churchgoer or leader I realise that the anger directed at “doubters” is just fear in a flimsy disguise. When we are deconstructing, we can be a bit self-centered because we’re going through something hard (which is okay sometimes!) but it makes us less inclined to consider how we’re making others feel. Maybe you’re introducing someone to questions they’re not ready to face. Maybe you’re destabilizing something that already feels wobbly to them. Maybe you’re poking at a tender spot.

I think the church needs to become a place where it’s safe to bring your real self - doubts and all. And where you should expect support for that.

But I also think that when we’re deconstructing, we should be sensitive and discerning about who we share our experiences with. We’re not here to disrupt someone else’s faith journey - and we shouldn’t realistically expect them to be helpful if we do. Even if they work at the church!

Find a few thoughtful, kind friends and let them be your support system.

(Your question could be next - ask anything you want!)

A couple of things I’m really loving right now:

The Red Hand Files by Nick Cave : I stole his concept for this newsletter. A collection of really deep interactions between this aging Aussie rocker and his sweet fans.

Ready Player One - I’m late to the party but this 80’s kid was in heaven with all the video game and movie references. Such a fun read. There’s also a movie directed by Steven Spielberg…which I haven’t seen.

Rewatching Silicon Valley. Don’t sleep on this show! Get it into your cozy rerun rotation. Full of classic moments.

Listening to Fleetwood Mac: Rumours. Classic for a reason. And actually really blown away by the latest Olivia Rodrigo. She’s making edgy pop music that I think anyone ( with a thick skin for profanity!) can enjoy.

Check out the first 3 singles from my new album “Honest” anywhere you stream music! https://www.liinks.co/chrisllewellyn_